Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
The only monthly cycles you worry about involves credit card payments
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood…all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes or if you do, you don’t care.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
The only time you need tweezers is to remove a splinter.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.